Cue Sappy Boyz II Men 90s Love Song

                Have you ever been in a relationship (friendship, family, love or otherwise) and you just feel completely frustrated with the other person because they just “don’t get it?” Let’s take for example, Annie and Joey. Annie is always leaving Joey sweet notes and telling him how much she appreciates him and Joey is always doing things around the house to help Annie, however, the two of them both feel like they do SO MUCH MORE for the other person. In their views, they are totally expressing their appreciation and gratitude for the other person, but it is not being reciprocated…or so they think. The whole problem is this couple is not speaking each other’s love language. Imagine two people who speak completely different languages get married and are expected to have a successful marriage; that has disaster written all over it. This couple must make the effort to learn their significant other’s native language and speak that tongue in order to make the other person feel loved. The same is said for love languages; we must be aware of our own and aware of others’ love languages in order to have successful relationships.

Watch this clip to get a bit of a synopsis on The Five Love Languages:

                I read the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman a couple of years ago and it was a total eye opener for how I view myself and other people. I was able to understand why in past and current relationships there would be those “bumps” that just would not seem to go away. I understand now why I am attracted to certain people (not just in the romantic sense) that speak my top love languages. Furthermore, I have learned how to become aware of the ways in which those around me feel appreciated and loved and I have to make the conscious effort to show those love signals (i.e. giving a hug to express the love language of physical touch or just doing the dishes for someone to express their love language of acts of service). In addition, it’s funny because I have noticed since I have put forth more effort in “speaking” and showing these different language (words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, acts of service, and gift giving) my love languages have changed over time. For instance, I was never big into physical touch (i.e. a simple pat on the back, hug, etc.) and I have totally adapted that as one of the ways in which I feel loved.  While love language can indeed change, it is encouraging to go through the experience of becoming more fluent in speaking other love languages than just our own. Also, we often speak OUR own personal love languages the best, which is why when that love language isn’t the other person’s manner in which they feel loved, we begin to feel like we are doing all we can and they just don’t appreciate US.

                One more major aspect with understanding and enacting these love languages into my life is the fact that I am able to see how my family members, co-workers, friends, etc. feel valued in order that I may make honest attempts to show my gratitude toward them. I am a total advocate for this book because it teaches us how to better ourselves and our relationships with other people. The best book of all, the Bible, talks all about love…isn’t that what life is really about? After all, what did Jesus say were the two most important commandments: Love God. Love Others (“‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’³⁸ This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Matthew 22: 37-39).

Here is a link to take the online quiz to see what your love language is: The Five Love Languages

Romeo, Juliet, some guy named Jake, and the Bears.

I haven’t updated in a while, so I thought I would take a moment and summarize a huge lesson God has been reiterating to me ever so gently and patiently over the last year or so: Live day by day. (With that lesson come the connotational lessons as follows: Be patient. Be still. Trust him). Now, that may seem simplistic, but it is indeed one of the most sophisticated and enlightening messages spoken to my heart. What does it mean to live day by day? I think God wants us to relinquish control of every area of our lives, which I have a tendency to feel helpless when I am not doing something. It’s not a bad thing to know what we want in our lives; it just means we are open to the plans that God has for us because oftentimes He will lead us down a different path than we had planned. It’s interesting because in a previous post, I alluded to how it can be so hard to see the bigger picture in life when we are going through a certain “season” and, as of late, those bigger picture moments have really been revealed to me. For instance, I can see how certain situations have prepared me for future situations; how certain people and relationships have prepared me for current and future relationships. It really is awe-inspiring to see how He will use those around us to bless us when we let Him.

The Story of Jane and Romeo?

                This brings me to a bit of an anecdotal moment in the post. I am going to share the story of “Jane.” Jane was out one night and met this tall, handsome, charming fella; he had her smitten from the moment they met. What turned from a chance meeting turned into a spiral dating scene; however, the emotions overtook the reality of the situation…they overtook what God truly wanted for Jane. Jane could see what this certain Romeo COULD be; the potential he had, but not what he truly was. Mr. Romeo knew what Jane needed and could see the light of hope that cascaded off of her, so as best as he could, he attempted to say and in a sense “do” what he thought the man should do. Jane was put in a situation where words outweighed the actions and took upon the burden of trying to lift Romeo-esque charmer out of the pit he seemed to be stuck in. However, one can not solely bring someone out of the pits if that someone is not willing to look to the One and only source of hope: Jesus Christ. After a month or so of trying to get him to walk into God’s house and many MANY circular conversations about God’s grace; it was becoming clear that although this Romeo seemed like the “perfect fit” in every other way; he was in all other senses…in the most essential sense….wrong for Jane. Without a shared love for God and God’s people and will; the relationship was and would be doomed.

The Story of Jane and Jake.

                Let us fast forward a bit past the Romeo and Jane scene; while Jane could indeed finally see that Romeo did not truly treat her as the treasure God wanted her to be treated as, she had regrets and confusion about the relationship as whole. Why did they even meet? Why didn’t she stay steadfast from the beginning? What was the point of even having those emotions for a man whom she would never get to experience the blossoming of a truly Christ centered and healthy relationship? Why couldn’t he be that spiritual leader Jane so desired? During this time, Jane decided, as she should have days and weeks earlier, that God was truly going to be in control. So what exactly did she do? She prayed. She prayed for Romeo. She prayed for peace. She prayed for God’s blessings on not only her life, but those around her. A day after she had completely said “God, take this from me,” she decided to go to church. While at church she was approached by an elderly man, but not just any man, it was the same man who approached her on April 1, 2012. On the previous date, he said, “Bless you sweetheart…I need to tell you something. The Lord’s revealing is coming soon.” Jane recalled that moment as the sweet man held out his hand, then gently touched her shoulder and said, “You need to know this: The Lord’s coming is near.” Once again, in awe, Jane stood there with thoughts firing through her mind. “Does this mean a blessing is heading my way?”

                Let’s fast forward again, but not too far…only a few days from this fateful Sunday. Although, confusion over past hurt was still on the remnants of her heart, she felt the Lord was moving in her and was putting things in motion that she was patiently waiting for. As she walked into a room one day, an almost gentle voice and a push lead her to “Jake.” As soon as this meeting with Jake occurred, Jane knew God was up to something. She felt blessed by Jake’s friendship and could see it beginning to blossom into something more. Jake was being a good man with a good heart who was meeting her on an intellectual and emotional level; he was able to be the one to pace the relationship. What a contrast this seemed to Romeo; how she could appreciate even the slightest kind word Jake had to offer her. Over the course of several weeks, Jane and Jake had the opportunity to discuss God’s will, his existence, his role in their lives, etc. What a blessing it seemed to be able to even have these conversations; the way they made her want to delve into the Word and find the answers…to grow closer to God. As Jane recollected one day not too long ago, she felt this friendship and relationship with Jake was going too fast without fully being Christ-centered. (Oh, how she had sensed in every way that all those moments of strength and weakness with Romeo seemed to prepare her for Jake…funny how God will use everything for His will when we fully surrender those moments to Him…)So, what did Jane do? Jane prayed. She prayed for God to redeem that relationship. Over the course of a week of continuously praying that prayer, Jake and Jane had a “talk.” A talk that somehow had pain and peace all molded into one. This discussion centered on slowing things down to fully figure out who they were and seeing what the future held for them both independently and collectively. This was a time for Jane to figure out she was in Christ; a time for her to pray for Jake to do the same.

While this may, in a sense, seem like a sad ending, Jane in fact has said that it is in no way an ending. In dire contrast, it is a brand new beginning. Remember those prayers of redemption she had prayed would occur with her relationship with Jake? That peace of knowing that God was hearing her prayers was in this discussion because as she put it, “These next couple of months will be filled with God’s glory, lessons, and blessings as we focus on getting right with him and turning toward him to let him lead.” Isn’t that what life is truly about? Live day by day. How do we do that? Pray. Trust. Easy. Stay tuned for updates on Jane as God is sure to move and mold during this time of redemption. After all, life is all about repenting, turning away from sin, forgetting what is behind, moving toward what is ahead, and trusting God to reveal His will in His timing.

Psalm 37: 7 “Be still before the Lord
    and wait patiently for him”

We wait for You
We wait for You
We wait for You
To walk in the room

Here we are standing in Your presence
Here we are standing in Your presence
Shekinah glory come down
Shekinah glory come down

Release the fullness of Your spirit
Shekinah glory come
Shekinah glory come

You move, and we want more
You speak, and we want more
You move, and we want more
We want the fullness

Release the fullness of Your spirit
Shekinah glory come
Shekinah glory come