I'm Clay Within Your Hands

          Lately I have been praying a lot about God’s direction in my life; it’s not a worry of mine, more of an excitement. I am so excited to see where God is going to lead me after graduation in May, what kinds of doors He is going to open, and how He is going to use me. Last night at our campus church we had “The Traveling Team” come and speak to us about spreading the Gospel all over the world. They really emphasized the numbers on all of the “unreached” people out there, how so many people have not heard of Jesus, they do not know he is the way, the truth, the life.
          As the evening continued, the speaker went through the Bible and pulled Scripture out where God is saying that His name is to be known the whole world over. One thing that was said really struck home: “Once we are welcomed into Christ’s family we feel a sense of responsibility.” That statement was embedded into my mind; I knew exactly what he meant. Now when most of us think of responsibility, we think of those obligations in life where we HAVE to do something even though we don’t really want to. This is NOT the type of responsibility I am talking about; this is not the type of responsibility I feel. This feeling of responsibility has been grabbing me for quite some time now. I have been praying for God to use me as a light for Him, to show His love to others. I feel a yearning that God has work for me to do even if that does mean stepping a bit out of my comfort zone; its all about being obedient to what His will for my life is.
          As this speaker continued feeding our thirst for more and more knowledge and gave example after example of the blessings God has poured out to his people, I began to think about how many times I go through the Bible and just remember those verses that really show me the positive aspects I want to latch on to; without really grasping the concept that the harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. How many times have I taken the blessings without accepting any responsibility? God has provided immeasurable blessings in my life and given me inexplicable joy; this message really reinforced my feeling that there is work for me to do. When a lot of people hear messages where missionaries come and speak, they grab onto the inspirational fire that is sent out from these people; they feel that they are suppose to go to these third world countries and spend their lives there helping those who need it most. Others listen to these messages and think, “That is really cool what these people are doing, but it is just not for me.” As for myself, I did not fall into either one of these categories. I had an amazing feeling of peace the whole time and just kept thinking that God wants me to stay here; that there is work to do here. What about all those people I pass walking through campus everyday or those people who I talk to on a daily basis never once mentioning what God has been doing in my life? Those people, those “everyday” members of our society, need to be reached out to as well. It reminded me of an article I just recently wrote a review on for my classroom management and diversity class, in which it pointed out the startling fact that so much attention and emphasis is placed on those students who come from a rough home life, who have emotional or behavioral problems, or who may have learning disabilities and often times it may be the “average” student who gets overlooked. Are we overlooking those “average” people right in our own backyard? These people need to hear the Gospel just as much as those in other countries.
          Now am I saying that I think it is wrong for people to go over and spread the Word of God throughout the vastness of this world? Absolutely not!!! I think that is absolutely essential. What I am saying is that while there is much work to be done across the ocean, there is a vital need that must be done here as well. I feel that God has really been pulling at my heart to reach out to those “average” people, that He is going to use me right here. I am just going to keep praying that I will be obedient to His will for my life so that I will stop thinking about my own personal needs, but take up my cross and follow him.

Veggie Burgers and Measuring Tape

This past labor day weekend almost the entire immediate family was in town (minus my sister) so my brother and sister-in-law came over on Sunday night. I absolutely love when we have family dinners; there is definitely never a dull moment. We usually never even end up leaving the dining room table...we just sit there after eating and talk, share stories, laugh, measure how tall we are... Yes, that's right, everyone got to see how tall they were on this past family dinner. It all started because for the last week or so I was convinced I was taller (it turns out I'm not). So we were sitting around the table and I asked my dad if he had measuring tape, he looked at me for a second with that look that says "why do you always ask me random questions?" and said yes it was in the garage. I excused myself from the table, ran and got the tape, and had my mom measure me as the rest of the family looked on in anticipation (ok so that last part might be a bit overstated.) After my mom informed me that I was indeed still 5'6 I jokingly asked, "Alright, who's next?" To my surprise my mom said "I am!" and then one by one we measured the rest of the people at the table. Although this incident may sound somewhat unusual to some of you and I admit it is, I would not trade these eccentric family memories for anything. Its funny how as I get older the more and more I appreciate that precious time I get to spend with my family and how thankful I am to have such amazing people in my life.

Sweetly broken, wholly surrender

          When I was three years old I went to the Easter musical at our church and I can vividly remember crying when I saw Jesus on the cross; burdened with the sin and sorrows of the world. It was at that moment I actually got it. I understood that this man was suffering for me; at least I understood it to the extent that any three year old could. Somehow over the next several years throughout my adolescence I seemed to have forgotten what my Savior had done for me. Then it was like all of a sudden those eyes of a child were reopened and I was broken as I comprehended how my Lord suffered for me and the life I was living was anything but worthy of that sin he paid. It was in the fall of last year that I stopped running. I was convicted. I was made new. I fell in love. A love that cannot be described with mere words; an overwhelming feeling of contentment, peace, an almost stillness.
          At church on Sunday there was a video featuring Jeremy Riddle’s “Sweetly Broken” and that amazing feeling of love and awe came washing over me. My roommate had introduced me to that song last year and the lyrics really spoke to me; they weren’t just words set to music, they felt like the words that were placed on my heart. I would much rather be sweetly broken than “have it all together" because its when I lose myself that I finally find myself in the One who matters most.

Jeremy Riddle - Sweetly Broken
To the cross I look, to the cross I cling
Of its suffering I do drink
Of its work I do sing
For on it my Savior
Both bruised and crushed
Showed that God is love and God is justAt the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees
And I am lost for words
So lost in love
I’m sweetly broken
Wholly surrenderedWhat a priceless gift, undeserved life
Have I been given through Christ crucifiedYou’ve called me out of death
You’ve called me into life
And I was under Your wrath
Now through the cross I’m reconciledIn awe of the cross I must confess
How wondrous Your redeeming love
And how great is Your faithfulness

The Race that Matters Most

The other day when I was running I began to think about how spending time with God: reading my Bible and worshipping Him is a lot like working out. Sometimes there are days where I will spend the majority of the day with this nagging feeling telling me I should go work out and I just keep putting it off. When I finally do it, its like I have this amazing feeling after; especially after a really long, hard run in which I know I put all my effort and endurance into it. Then when I am done I have this great, rewarding sentiment; my spirits are lifted in a sense. I have found that after I spend time in prayer and with God, a really intimate span of time where I can build my relationship, worship my savior, and gain knowledge from His Word, I get that same “cloud-nine” type feeling.

“Getting in shape” does not solely relate to the physical, but the spiritual as well. To get into shape physically I need to eat right, work out regularly, and put time and effort into it. If I am trying to stay “in shape” I am not going to continuously fill myself up with junk food that is going to weigh me down and hinder my progress, but I am going to fill myself up with healthy food. The same can be said for my spiritual workouts; in order to get the most I can and become the woman God wants me to be I need to be fed with the “healthy foods” of life. For example, by limiting my intake of certain media, i.e. TV, shows, music, movies, books, Internet, etc. I am not going to be weighed down with worldly thoughts that just take up space and slow me down in my desire to grow closer to God. Not only does this time and effort need to be put in for my physical body, but for my spiritual growth too. How can I expect to run a few miles and make progress without first taking the time and effort to get into this shape? How can I expect to automatically be close to God if I don't put the time and effort into this relationship?

This workout analogy can be taken a step further as well. For instance, I have found that having a running partner really pushes me to get out there everyday and it is encouraging to have someone to relate and talk to. I definitely think it is important to have a good, Christian friend; someone who is not afraid to hold me accountable and be there to talk to. When you get into shape, it inspires others around you to want to get into shape; therefore, when you draw close to God, other people are going to notice that and they are going to want to be spiritually fit too. So the next time I find myself filling up on those unfulfilling entertainments, I am going to stop being spiritually lazy and go run to Him to get my mind, body, and spirit into shape.